Weighing up the harm

Is adoption the answer?  it is not for a lot children, government figures leaked show that a third of children adopted out of care fail and the child is returned right back into the system. This is why children under 5 are more adoptable because they do not  remember their birth family and so the new adoptive parents have a home free run with a child claiming as being theirs, which of course is not the case only by way of a family court.. isnt that emotional abuse (or legal abuse) in itself?  at what point is that child going to find out? Are the adopters going to hide the big secret until the child is 18 then drop the bombshell??  how will it affect the child or indeed when they become adult?  identitycrisis comes to mind..

Are children’s services really doing a ‘service’ to the child in cases such as this ?(the links might not be for the faint hearted)..http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-480151/Gay-couple-left-free-abuse-boys–social-workers-feared-branded-homophobic.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1158497/Foster-parents-sue-social-workers-placed-teenager-home–leaving-free-rape-son.html , http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23389711-sadistic-foster-mothers-19-year-reign-of-terror.do, http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/environment/pervert_foster_carer_abused_child_1_84286, http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1305600_foster_carer_caught_on_film_attacking_toddler,

It seems the Americans are also having problems with the system there too , a  high profile murder of  Logan Marr involving an ex social worker http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/fostercare/marr/marrwma_hi.html 

I myself can identify with this one in that my concerns about my sons behaviour whilst in care fell on dear ears and i was made out to be a nurotic mother who wanted my son out of foster care and would say or do anything to achieve that, well they were right about that to a degree. Never would a caring protective parent want to make up concerns about their child in care. Most caring responsible parents are more intune with their children more than anyone else and know instinctively when there is something wrong. The most horrifying of all of it is that childrens services cover up their mistakes/embarrassment and sometimes convince police  reports of a child suffering in care are unfounded. This is because if their investigations or court prove it to be true then they have to admit they were wrong and also leads to big pay outs.

My son in 2010 was diagnosed as having an attachment disorder, where by he had strong attachment to me (always has but certain social workers didnt seem to be bothered) and does not like to be away from me for too long, he also has ADHD diagnosed (social services missed that one putting his hyperactivity and frustrations down to DV as they did with his strong attachment to me). The problems my son had in foster care he certainly did not have when he was with me or indeed even when his father was with us.Most of the problems that occurred in foster care disappeared the minute i was reunited with him so knowing all this now how could it have possibly been a good thing to put my son into care?? can you imagine the outcome of the adoption?? I dread to think if i had not done what i did that my son would have ended up in a childrens home after a failed adoption, he would not have got the help with his ADHD or attachment disorder (i dont think there is a cure for that) like he has had and continues to have. The fear is he would probably have been medicated upto the eyeballs to make him more manageable and ended up a total flop in life with major emotional problems and addictions as an adult possibly adding to the prison population.

 http://www.afro.com/sections/news/Washington/story.htm?storyid=3779  and http://www.weau.com/home/headlines/Adoption_advocates_charged_with_child_abuse_112914229.html , http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local-beat/Renee-Bowman-To-Be-Sentenced-88810207.html ,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqSum5Qlx1w, 15 cases of U.S adoptions of russian children murdered by adoptive parents http://adoption.about.com/od/adoptionrights/p/russiancases.htm

UK Research in 1999 (i should think the figure is alot higher now more children go into care) shows that a child is 6/7 more likely to be abused in state care than the family home,whilst 6% of those abused in care were abused in children’s homes/residential care. That leaves a high figure for abuse in foster care, the reasons for this i willgo into in another blog . The message to the government is (do the maths)  provide a service which is meant to ‘help families’ not a service of child collection for adoption on flimsy evidence if’s and but’s. Put your resources into seeking out families who need that help instead of making families feel like they are under serveillance, due to the mass media coverage and internet cases of child abuse within birth families and the care system it is clear that children are best left in the home of families unless there is clear and re-occuring evidence of physical, sexual or severe neglect and put those emotional harm cases forward for home help. Funding should go heavily into  ’training’ parents to be good parents isnt that what social services were originally designed to do?  In Ireland they would not attempt to take a child for emotional harm unless their was psychiatric medical evidence  to prove this over a period of time. As one social worker said ‘why would we want to remove a child from its parents if we did not know for CERTAIN that child was suffering and would suffer at home more than they would incare’. EXACTLY listen to the words of the Irish social worker!

Due to the current governments cuts to get rid of the debt labour left behind millions of county councils are having to re-shuffle the work force and lets hope they prioritise their cases more and protect those children who need protecting. Government also needs to set down clear rules regarding weighing up the harm  children maybe suffering at home to whatthey might suffer in care or go onto suffer when adopted..i will include emotional harm in that why not.

As a final word I must say that i have no argument against adoption whenbirth parents agree or if i a child has been abandoned for say 2 years as is the current law in Ireland and other EU countries. I am sure that some adoptions are a great success when things are done correctly and those caring adoptors do a great job with children who need a family.

Service or Serveillance?

Happy Newyear to you all, we had a nice and peaceful Christmas although no Christmas dinner Christmas day as both children and myself had swine flu! we did however have our late dinner on the 27th!

Anyone who is a single parent will know this kind of situation is a nightmare and if you are not lucky enough to have friends and family around to help at the time it can be exhausting. This Christmas i was particulary thinking about the less fortunate, being ill is one thing but quite another if you are an ill homeless person, have a disability, life threatening disease or those who are being abused and are in fear or full of sadness (iv been there). I have taught my children to think of others at times where they should consider themselves fortunate to have food, presents,a day out/holiday and a caring safe environment. So this piece today is about people who need help, whether they ask for it, whether they get it and get the right help for the right reasons.

I personally am pleased the UK is  rid of the big brother labour government that was hell bent in spending tax payers money,getting Britian into debt with their silly ideas to force the public to conform with more laws and regulations (well over 300 infact since conservatives even the judges are confused). I wont get into  politics too much but labour lavished the British public and businesses with money conservatives had worked hard to make Britian’s economy a booming debt free one, obviously this was done because they wanted to keep the votes in! Now the people who voted for them are complaining at conservatives/lib dems that they are having to make cuts! even the current government did not realise how much money labour spent until they got their own in to do the books. Anyway….In particular the labour government gave massive budgets to children’s services departments in a bid to change society and erradicate child abuse/neglect.

The theory was that if they could wipe out child abuse and get these children into foster care and then adopted they could then wash their hands of the children and bring on the next cases to court (bit like recycling really). Firstly society will never wipe out child abuse, there is always someone out there who is going to do it whether it be their own child or someone elses. What actually happened is that Childrens services became more and more brave interferring with family life taking children whose parents were deemed unfit or rather were not perfect, using the at risk of emotional harm card introduced in 2002 gave them much power to do this aswell as the huge amounts of budgets. As we all know under labour if we did not conform to the ‘ideal citizen’ we were punished by way of persecution in a criminal or a family court be it a speed camera,leaving our bins on the street, bike riding on a pavement,late for sending children to school..you get my drift and so social engineering began and society began to divide.

There are two types of outcomes for children on full care orders, those who go onto adoption whom the intention is to have a ‘perfect life’ with parents deemed ‘perfect’ by social services and the adoption agencies (whether they have ever had a child or not ) and those who stay incare because they are not adoptable (usually children over 5). I will go into those groups indepth later on but for now how do these children end up in the care system in the first place? I have to add that i am not aginst adoption but i am against forced adoption where a birth parent does not agree bad parent or not, ‘guardianship’  is more appropriate (more on that soon).

The answer to this varies,

Whistle blowers; some come to the attentionof Children’s services by someone who takes a dislike to a person/family and hell bent on ruining their life by way of government intervention. On the other hand it could also be a member of a family or the public who knows the children and can see there is abuse happening or a strong possibility.

By criminal investigation,offence or conviction

By going to authorities for help (do gooders, jobworths etc..), this could be to the doctors or hospital to seek medical help, confiding in a health visitor or teacher about the state of your family life, approaching Childrens services for help or just a general chat about your needs as a family or yourself.

I have mixed feelings on the multi agency government groups concerning their services to the public, labour spent millions if not billions on creating mass serveillance when it came to state services the public require and pay for. There is a very fine line between needing and requesting a service and it turning into a circus of social workers, paperwork and court proceedings. For example domestic violence crime rates have gone down apparently, is this because of labours big brother heavy handed way of dealing with DV in that people are starting to ‘conform’? (they probably think so) or is it that victims are nolonger requesting for help?

We already know my freedom of information requests to every county council childrens services department in England and Wales have no idea themselves due to the coding of child protection recording how many children they have taken themselves away from victims of domestic violence and adopted out. How disgraceful is that? how is the government who constantly moans and dithers about questioning how they can reduce the amount of children going into care when they cannot even get their own statistics together to even research it?

Any regular readers will already know the in’s and out’s of DV as i have already blogged so lets concentrate on other cases where a family required a service and then suddenly found themselves in amongst the child protection malarky see the case of the websters http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/lawreports/4592069/Adoption-stands-despite-possible-miscarriage-of-justice.html . Imagine if your child fell ill or had an accident which required you to go and see a doctor or worse hospital, then all of a sudden instead of getting your child better and your parenting skills recognised you are then labelled a possible child abuser. What is also shocking is the rate that children’s services seem to be taking perfectly healthy children from disabled parents, the Norah Fry Research Centre showed that 12% of the UK’s 14.1 million paranets are disabled and 40% of those children whom parents are disabled are in care. Where is the support?? why is Britain (or was) giving millions of pounds to other countrys when our own country should hang its head in shame because it cannot simply afford to give the help and assistance to familys where there maybe child protection concerns instead of whipping children away when it actually costs the government more in the long run and creates sadness, bitterness, lack of nurturing and love a birth parent could be giving their child so they grow up to be better people than the ones that tend to leave care at 18 or 21 in some cases.

 We have all heard of horrors such as baby p echoed all over Britian with social workers being blamed for failing these children amongst other so professionals..most recent being http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/Suspension–for-social-worker.6689130.jp  We hear of these failings of negligence not just in child protection but in everyday cases of hospital admissions,the prison service and plenty going on at the moment regarding the abuse and power of the police over innocent members of the public. So again i will say that there will always be someone somewhere committing abuse and also not doing their job properly even if they tried hard to. We cannot make a perfect world with perfect people but we can try to make the world a better place and convince people to be good.

 There are levels of punishment which confuse me within the UK and indeed other countries, for example why does a persistant peadophile offender keep getting locked up and let out? why not just cut his life short? or castrate him? why if a known and proved guilty peadophile gets to live his pathetic life when he has ruined the lives of others over and over again when a law abiding citizen goes for help with their child and gets a life sentence of having their child taken away and adopted against their wishes on a ‘possible risk of’ where there is no criminal charges?

 The family court needs to come inline with other countries policies on child protection and the law. If childrens services can prove someone neglected or abused a child then that person should be prosecuted in a criminal court and then i would be satisfied that their child would not be returned. We do this with animals, we prosecute people who abuse animals and remove those animals for good so why can we not going along the same lines in human society?  There are some brilliant social workers out there as there are police officers, doctors etc..and we desperately need more with intelligence and common sense to do right by families.

Wolves in sheep’s clothing

After a very busy week and mulling over what I am about to write for sometime that the truth is not always as it seems. What I mean by that exactly are the huge amounts of cases  popping up all over the place some old and some new complaining about social services taking their children.

What worries me the most is that they all seem to come together and believe in each others stories/cases. Some even manipulate the media when telling their stories and hiding their paperwork. The main breeding ground for this is facebook and the internet in general. I know of many cases which on the surface may make you think these people have suffered terrible injustice ( many do) but what they do not expect (or like) is when you dig a little deeper.  Some are quite happy to show others their paperwork, some ‘doctor’ their paperwork to hide the truth and some simply do not show their paperwork at all.

I am very worried to say the least about real child abusers penetrating the network of people who have come together for support and advice. I am extremely worried about people who jump on the bandwagon of protest and use these help groups as a scape goat , these parents/people are also able to manipulate others into backing them up and offering help to those who are at risk of losing their children or trying to get them back.

Whilst I appreciate that people should unite in support groups and highlight some of the dysfunctional goings on in social work and family court my fear is growing for innocent parents and children who are contacted/befriended by those who have deserved to have their right to look after their children taken away from them..

I have heard and looked into a case where a couple were accused of pedophilia against their own daughter they are amongst many that have  protested their innocence. However this particular couple went onto meet others and involve themselves in their lives. It soon became apparent that the couple concerned were very strange, caused great trouble and there is a saying ‘if the shoe fits’. After much more information the shoe did fit yet this couple and others still continue to be-friend people and involve themselves in vulnerable people and their children’s lives, mess things up even more and put the children at even more risk!. I cannot stress enough that if you have a case that is live by all means  seek support but try to seek advice but keep people at arm’s length. If there are children still at home be VERY CAREFUL and do not invite people into your home or involve your children in any way either via internet or face to face meetings. Beware of Wolves in sheeps clothing!

On another note I am excited but nervous to be meeting Holly and Phil on the this morning programme on Monday 28th June regarding my story. Understandably the research team have done various checks and research into my case slightly more than the reporters do for newspapers. I am completely fine with that and I think reporters should do it more by attending hearings in court so the readers cannot stipulate that ‘there must be more to it’ when children are taken into foster care.

I will be highlighting my campaign to have the children’s act 1989 adjusted to allow parents who are at risk of domestic violence from another parent/partner to keep their children with them in care proceedings. This is very easily done as in America where barring orders and support packages are put in place to ensure the person who is the risk is kept away from the home or place where the children and the non abusive parent reside. This will give the non violent parent breathing space and can then under go various help/support to break the cycle of being abused.  Currently what happens is that the children are taken away from the non violent parent, which if anyone knows about the dynamics of domestic violence leaves the victim in an even more vulnerable position emotionally and physically. Then social services make demands to do assessments in order to get the children back the woman (in most cases) are set up to fail, even to the point of going back to their abusive partner because of their emotional state and where the abuser then gets his foot back in the door!. The Children’s act does have barring orders in them but social services tend to make up various reasons why the court should not use these orders and prefer to take the children into care, why? to feed the adoption market? social workers should not be able to assume the barring orders will not work until they have tried them!

If barring orders were automatic I have no doubt that over half of children taken due to DV would stay with their family and not have the trauma of foster care or worse adoption. This would save the government loads of money!

My experience and opinion is ‘strike when the Iron is hot’ they are talking about automatic barring orders in criminal cases of DV (I think its 2 weeks) so why not do it with longer time scales in care proceedings and let the DV abuser be the one who has the assessments and proves they are no longer a risk.

No wonder society is breaking down because there seems to be zero tolerance concerning the way families parent in Britain. Keeping families together helping them learn to be better parents and showing children how important it is to look after and care for each other they will inevitably grow up with this notion and pass onto their own children.

Social workers would also be wise to remember that it is inevitable that parents will loath them and hate them to the point they want to kill the social worker who took their children and is writing reports about them. Who can blame us? Unfortunately until the British government have the brains like Australia to split social services  into two departments so the social workers who take the children into foster care do not have to work with the parents who want them back (vice versa).  Maybe then we will see a big decrease in parents complaining about vindictive social workers who are hell-bent on lying and setting parents up to make sure their children are not returned home, a regular cause for removal and adoption is non co-operation (wonder why?). This I feel is the most shocking thing about care proceedings and family court, it is very demoralising , frustrating and causes  loss of faith in the system as a whole. It also makes you question why do social services want the children to stay in care so badly when they resort to making things up? The answer lies in my first couple of sentences, we are in fact all only human with feelings that cannot sometimes be denied or put aside.A person can and will do their very best to bring you down if they do not like you or because you simply do not like them…

*UPDATE* Apologies i did not get to the blog earlier but due to OFCOM regulations i was unable to do my story on the this morning programme, however it is hopeful for a future programme when we can smooth out the concerns of OFCOM of any possible future compaints (probably) by  government departments under section 1 ‘protecting the under eighteens’ http://stakeholders.ofcom.org.uk/broadcasting/broadcast-codes/broadcast-code/protecting-under-18s/

Domestic violence=State kidnap=Adoption

I am so busy with life lately to keep a regular blog but i had to write about this weeks news that a mother Tamara Dyson has been charged with kidnapping her own children as i did out of foster care , see article here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1281484/Twins-snatched-alcoholic-mother-Tamara-Dyson-safe-well.html

Although i suspect in due course due to care proceedings the daily mail will be made to remove the pictures of the children if social services and the family court Judge concerned plan on adopting these children  here is another link to the story

http://www.stateintervention.com/2010/05/eldest-daughter-defends-fantastic.html

First of all printing a picture of Tamara’;s mug shot after she was caught  is extremely degrading for the mother (hasn’t she been degraded enough?). I looked a mess for 3 days after heading off abroad with all the worry and stress it took to be brave and commit what is a criminal act of kidnap to  get my son away from foster care where he was suffering (and still suffers from the experience today).

It seems the newspapers were coaxed into the world of social workers extreme beliefs that most children are at risk. Unfortunately for the Lincoln social services the article went like wild fire round the internet and had the opposite effect where friends and family leaked information for all to see (quite rightly so).

For those who do not already know this lady was a VICTIM of domestic violence, yes the very same man social services and police used to put out a media plea to find Tamara and the children.  The father William Francis has served 8 months in Prison for Actual bodily harm on Tamara and the abuse on her was so bad she turned to drink (que social services). Her 16 year old daughter says this in another article for the Irish Examiner Olympia said: “The social workers were saying there was a slim chance of getting the twins back and she felt desperate because there was nothing she had done to make that happen.  She’s just desperate for us all to be a family again. I am really worried. They are making out she would harm them, that she is a chronic alcoholic and that she has a problem but this wouldn’t have been going on for two years if that was the case.  Mum is fantastic, she’s amazing. She is so much more like my best friend, if I am honest. I would tell her anything. I am just shocked, really shocked.” http://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/world/mother-who-snatched-her-twins-was-desperate-says-daughter-459079.html

Also in the news this week a mother who murdered her children in Spain after being on the run for 2 years did so because she feared her children would be taken into care and adopted when her husband was taken back to the UK on sex charges.  Staffordshire social workers were due to seize the couples children back in December 2007 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1282341/Spain-murder-charge-mother-Lianne-Smiths-letter-toddler-deaths.html

I would like to ask the British Government and House of Lords this;

WHY is  forced adoption still happening?? why are social services or even judges allowed to remove children from the non abusive parent?, Why is the state only protecting the children and not the victims in cases of domestic violence?? and lastly why are  barring orders to stop the accused abusers coming near the victim or children not being used but instead taking children into care which is supposed to be a ‘last resort’? maybe some MP’s could pose this question?

I suspect the answer will be ‘Victims or their abusers  sometimes don’t abide by these orders’ …well i never got that chance and neither has Tamara and countless other victims of DV.If the abuser does not abide by it then LOCK THEM UP not the victims or their children in foster care for goodness sake. In the news this week there was a paedophile whose phone was found on a bus with hundreds of grade 4 sexual images of children on, he was part of a  ring and guess what he got community service and a chance to get ‘treatment’. The judicial system seems completely run by hunger for money control freaks who think they know best and take no notice of public opinion.Its disgraceful.

The loss of a child/children to foster care i can only describe as being taken hostage.Whilst i realise that social services and Judges sometimes need to take drastic action in order for a parent to ‘see the light’ and make changes, this should ONLY be done when all other avenues are exhausted! This just is not happening, I can only fear that the recycling of children from out the care system to make  room for more is such common practice now in government departments and family court cognitive distortion is the norm in child protection work.

I am so sad for this mother and her family that they now have to deal with a criminal case on top of a family court one where they are destined to lose those precious children.  I would also ask the father what methods were used to persuade him to make a plea for her to come home? What father is in his right mind who is not allowed to see his own children unsupervised due to his behaviour would rather his children be in foster care than with their natural mother? I can only assume he is very naive to forced adoption and suspect that social workers may have thrown him a life line for a few moments to make him think he still had a chance of getting sole custody of the children himself (not). Or maybe he simply has an axe to grind against his ex by taking his own feelings into account ahead of his children’s needs. We all know ex’s and even ex’s partners can be extremely difficult when it comes to contact with the other parent and obstructing a child’s right (even if it has to be enforced by persuasion) to have both parents in their life and families. I doubt these twins will thank their father for doing such a thing.

PLEASE WAKE UP people, the more you battle with ex partners when social services are involved the more unsuitable you become as a parent. However  when i was not in a relationship with the father we were on speaking terms and there was no animosity between us and social workers still took my son. They also wanted me to tell my then 4-year-old why he was in foster care, being his father had a drink problem and occasionally got violent with me when he was drunk during an argument. Seriously can anybody actually say that would be beneficial to a 4-year-old child? No it would not be, my personal view is that social services a) wanted my son to then speak about this and so would be able to have evidence on file that he had been talking and was ‘affected by DV, b) that they wanted to shift the blame off themselves and look like the ‘good guys’  instead of the state kidnappers that they were in my son’s eyes.

After many years of studying family law, courts, Judges decisions and social work practice i have come to the conclusion that the children’s act is out of date. (it needs to be re-written). Secondly children’s social services should be split into two departments, one being for child protection (risk and removal) and the other being for (re-unification or retain).

Parents should NOT have to work with the very person who has accused you of being a bad parent, taken off with your child and then expected to work with them in a hostage situation. People such as those who work in MI5 and Scotland yard have years of training and expertise of hostage and negotiation, normal members of the public CANNOT be expected to deal with such situations and with their own children!.

Now here is the truth for anyone who has never had a child taken into care (social workers please take note). When someone ANYONE takes your child it feels like your heart has been ripped out, have you ever lost your child in a supermarket even just for a minute? that is the feeling you have all the time your child is in foster care. Ok its a social worker that has taken a child after they asked a court for an order but it might aswell be a child abuser the fact is your child has gone, you don’t know where or who to. You are POWERLESS TO PROTECT and you are supposed to trust a social worker who then supposed to trust a complete stranger to take care of your child and who has no idea who your child is as a person, what they like what they don’t like. How can anyone be expected to trust a social worker when they have just left with your child into oblivion?  The bigger picture is as a parent (just as in a terrorist/robbery hostage situation) we will always be frightened that we will never see our child again..what if something happens to them such as a freak accident or heres one that is quite common gets abused in foster care. Children can be so attached to their parents that they lose their spirit and will to live due to extreme separation. Many they try harming themselves or become depressed, this is emotional harm in itself caused by care proceedings.

I could go on but i would be here all night and end it in tears, so the public must rally their MP’s to make a stand and call for changes to be made and the secrecy of the family courts to be open, social workers be criminally prosecuted for telling lies about a parent or providing false evidence, Judges and social workers to be psychological evaluated every year to make sure they are of sound mind to play god with families lives , that parents be proven guilty in a CRIMINAL court of abuse or neglect in order to take children into care and lastly for adoption to be illegal when the parents refuses to give up their parental rights and responsibilities (unless the parent has abandoned the child for a period of 2 years). The employment of social workers should have no less than a degree in social care and a minimum of 3 years training before they are able to make decisions on families (as in Ireland).

The saddest thing about all this is that social workers seem to have no human compassion or feelings for parents in general.If they claim that their focus is on the child then these people seriously need to get some more common sense and speak up if they think a child is suffering emotionally in care and is better off back with a parent. Of course they will never say this as it would be a case for liable and emotional harm caused by social services themselves.

Ok that’s all from me and as they say in crime watch try not to have nightmares.

UK DV victims fleeing their abusers (ex partners,social services,family court judges,Cafcass etc..)- A survival guide

The truth of the matter is since emotional harm was added into the children act as a form of abuse, UK government departments have branched out in all areas of emotional welfare concerning children and child protection.

Marco born in one of Malaga's hospitals

As with my own story one of the saddest situations for women today are those who are or have been involved with reporting domestic violence are at serious risk of losing their children. From the moment a mother picks up the phone to the police and reports her partner or ex partner for domestic violence her children are ear marked for removal and adoption. Brutal you say? yes the law is brutal unless you can prove you can protect yourself and your children from the abuser…but of course you say ‘is’nt it the police and criminal courts job to do that’..well erm actually according to the social services and a family court judge no injunction will protect mother because either father will not take notice or mother will break the order herself because she is weak and in love with him.

If you report DV more than once YOU WILL be branded weak and EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE  putting your love interests before the interests of your children (apparently). Social services will also throw in a few bits about the children being untidy or aggressive for good measure in their reports be it true or in most cases NOT.This is how social services persuade a judge to put a care order on your children so they can be removed from you and taken into foster care. Anyone who has read John Hemmings or LyndaMac blogs will know that doctors who are appointed by the family court otherwise known as  ’expert witnesses’ are in a league of their own. These doctors are paid for by the social services, Cafcass and your legal aid (if you represent yourself no wonder the court want you to get a solicitor asap or the expenses is down to everyone else!).

Now i am not saying all doctors are total quacks Mystic Meg’s ‘ I know it all’ types, but I would say in their own ‘field’ they most certainly think they know it all otherwise they wouldn’t be on the expert witness panel of Court certified Doctors would they? (you can find these  just google expert witnesses). I wont go into the Psychobabble of expert witnesses who are used as a weapon of mass destruction against you in court as I want to save this topic for the future and in great detail in my book. For now I want to concentrate on where does a woman who is in the situation where she is on the brink of losing her children go? Ok please take note of the following..

Republic Of Ireland

Is classed as the ‘common travel area’ and the social security system is linked with the UK’s. If you are unemployed you can claim your benefits in Ireland just as you would in UK, what you cannot get away with is claiming in both countries, it is LINKED!. Emotional harm does exist in Ireland’s child protection (although only extreme harm and with EVIDENCE of such not like in the UK where it is on ‘possibility) but from my experience and knowledge they DO NOT take children from a parent who has suffered and/or reported domestic violence. So if that if your problem then go and build your children a new life away from your abuser. If you choose not to keep your abuser away then repeated DV will not go un-noticed and you may well both be pulled into court and have exclusion orders slapped on you, break these and your children will be at risk of going into care but not adopted as it is illegal to adopt a child against the parents wishes here. You will need in order

1) PPS number from your City social welfare/tax office (take as much ID as you can for you and your children) you can get your PPS numbers by ringing up after a few days ,quote your reference number)

2)Take your PPS numbers to your LOCAL social welfare office and apply for single parent whilst you find a job or not depending on what you want to do.

3) Go to www.daft.ie and find a landlord/property who will accept rent allowance

4) Find your local ‘Clinic’ this tends to be a doctors and in there will be a supplementary welfare officer for you to claim weekly money and rent allowance whilst your single parent claim goes through.Register at the doctors whilst your there and apply for  a health card and the health nurse. If you feel it necessary approach social services as i did and tell them why you are here they maybe able to offer you some assistance in a good form and not one that is intrusive or threatening  like what you have experienced with British social workers.http://www.welfare.ie/EN/Schemes/SupplementaryWelfareAllowance/Pages/RentSupplement.aspx

5) Apply for child benefit, to get this you must provide a letter from the local school confirming the attendance of your child or if child is under 5 a letter from your doctor confirming registration.

*UPDATE 06/12/2010* Due to Irelands economic climate habitual residence has now changed, benefits will only apply in the following circumstances.If you do not fit the criteria you will nolonger be entitled to benefits.

1) You have family ties (son,daughter,brother,sister,grandad,grandma) already living in Ireland

2) You have a job in Ireland (even if it is part time)

3) You have a baby in Ireland (considered Irish if born in Ireland)

4)You have lived in Ireland previously for a continued period of 2 years

5) You are an Irish blood no less than 3 generations and can apply for naturalisation (eg your grandfather was full Irish, great grandparents do not count)

Spain

Do not go to Spain if you need to rely on the benefits system (unless you are a pensioner of course), this is most unfortunate for people with disabilities but i will find a solution eventually! To survive in Spain you must work (or illegally continue to claim from UK), here is a quick survival guide.

1) Emotional harm does not exist in Spain so unless you have been accused of physical ,sexual or neglect against a child you WILL keep your children. For domestic violence issues it is pretty much the same as Ireland except they may well throw the woman into prison if you continue to break any exclusion orders against your partner purely because you are wasting police and court time reporting your abuser! In the high-profile cases of Megan Coote and Sam Hallimond and partner Vanessa both concerning Suffolk social services here is the difference…http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1255458/British-parents-fled-Spain-stop-social-services-kidnapping-baby-week-old-son-taken-Spanish-authorities.html

The Spanish Authorities say Megan gets to keep her baby as it was future emotional harm that the UK were seeking to remove the baby for (doesn’t exist in Spain at the moment). Regarding Sam and Vanessa’s 1st baby ‘Daisy’  initially removed also on the basis of future risk of emotional harm, baby number 2 was removed by Spanish Authorities because Suffolk decided to change tactics from using emotional harm to at risk of physical harm. A risk and accusation Suffolk cannot prove according to the parents paperwork, so lets hope that if it is the case of Suffolk being liars the Spanish see this and return the baby. The problem UK fear with this case is if the baby is returned to Sam and Vanessa the 1st baby Daisy will surely have to be returned to the parents, if not there is a case for the courts of European rights if one country orders a child for adoption and another leaves child to stay in the birth family! The tax payer would be looking at paying a 6 figure sum for a case gone wrong like that as in my own case (I’ll get there).

2) After finding accommodation http://www.enalquiler.com go to your main police station with ID and apply for your NIE numbers (this is for residence the same as Ireland’s PPS) It is preferable to get someone to look after your children to do this and then present your children to the officer at the end. I paid someone 200 euros to queue for me (these people are easy to find) queuing starts around 3am to be guaranteed a ticket as the police only give out a certain amount a day.

3)When you have your NIE after about 7 days take this to the town hall along with your tenancy agreement and get your empadronamientohttp://valencia.angloinfo.com/countries/spain/empadronamiento.asp

4) When you have your empadronamiento take this paperwork to the social security office (Seguridad Social) and apply for your tax number. Apparently if you have a national insurance tax contributions certificate (E301) makes life a lot easier for the Spanish otherwise register as self employed for the minimum tax to pay a month or if you are lucky enough to get a job with an employer that will pay your tax you have things much simpler! As a single mother you can apply for 100 euro a month childcare if under 3 yrs of age and 100 euro a month child benefit but i think this is per household? someone please correct me. Also there is a new scheme where the housing department (find out at your town hall) where they will pay 258 euros a month towards your rent. There is also a payment from social security for mothers who can receive 2500 euros when they give birth but i was unable to get this as i had not been living in Spain for more than a year. I do understand however you might be able to claim this up to 2 years after giving birth if you continue to live in Spain.

Lucas holding Marco!

http://www.publico.es/dinero/168331/ministerio/vivienda/presenta/nuevo/plan/vpo

5) Take your social security number with your empadronamiento to the doctors to register you and your children for free health care and a health check which is needed to get them into state school. You can register with a european health card and get your child’s health check this way but most doctors will only issue you with a temporary card, if you do it this way you will have to say you are living temporary in Spain for a year maybe.

6)Get your children into school, you can put children in from age 3 but it is compulsory to have them in school full-time at age 6.

Finally i would like to thank the kind people who have helped me from Catholic churches in Spain and Ireland. Gifts such baby items like blankets, carry cots, car seats, children’s clothes bought and even made with their bare hands. I once wrote a prayer whilst on the ferry over to france  on June 27th 2007 asking if their was a god to protect us from the British authorities  and let there be people during our time on the run who would be  kind enough to help us survive..and there was. Although a warning to people who are adamant on crossing boarders into other countries not everyone is so kind and there are people who will use your weaknesses to their advantage because they also need to survive. Just be careful who you tell your life story to because no matter which way you look at it you become even more vulnerable away from friends and family. Your priority is to keep safe, survive and surround yourself with good compassionate people. The church is a good place to start to connect with such people.

There are many other people who are more personal friends that i would like to thank for their kindness and support through this what seems to be a never ending ordeal living in exile, i will be dedicating a page to them very soon.You know who you are x

Today is International Women’s Day

As above it is indeed International women’s day when the female population speak out about issues that affect women’s lives and put forward changes to the relevant people with POWER.

Ok so here is the link http://www.fourwaystospeakout.com/ of which there is a petition to sign which has the slogan ‘speak to the government’ and some very flimsy pointers that we have known doesn’t exist for decades. Why does Refuge and women’s aid pussy foot around when dealing with the government?? why not have a petition saying…

1.We need more training and designated people with POWER to confront local Authorities who are taking our children and to be supportive and provide an advocacy service for women in family/criminal law cases that judges will take notice of!

2. We petition the government to make exclusion orders compulsory as a first order in care proceedings and it be ILLEGAL to remove children from battered mothers. See American case-law here  http://www.nccpr.org/index_files/page0007.html which Judge Neligan and Judge Tyzac of Devon County courts took no notice of when i waved it in their faces on applying for a section 38 or 44 to have my son at home with me whilst my ex was excluded (it was my house anyway!)

3.Stop Judges using the statements of domestic violence victims as the ‘Threshold Criteria’ to have their children put in care..(is it worth us getting injunctions against our abusers?)

I understand that women’s aid and Refuge get a lot of funding from the government schemes but if they are not going to stand up for the rights of domestic violence victims then who the hell is??

ME , me me me anyone else??

Why have women’s aid said they would like to talk to me along with the NSPCC for it all to stop dead in its tracks after so much correspondence with them?  on the issue of women having to flee the country because our children are taken for at risk of emotional harm and adopted out after 12 months! Has someone stuck their Oar in from the government department?

Where is the support for this undercover act against human rights and indeed children’s rights from the two most influential women’s groups?

Oh well Happy  International Womens Day!

I’m a survivor too!

Above me and my son Lucas on the day of our great escape from the UK in June 2007.

lac10001 LAC review- Proof social services request courts to remove children from domestic violence victims!

Today is 7th March 2010 I am at home in southern Ireland attempting to write my first blog, with the children in bed it occurs to me what does a person write in a blog who is already writing a book?

Well i am sure to be careful about writing too much here or the publishers will not want me! but many people have asked why I have not written a blog as it seems to be all the rage whether you are a ‘professional’ or just an average human being like myself.

One year ago i was gearing up for the biggest court case of my life after being a fugitive from the British for over 2 years. The year before  i was settling into Spanish life, the year before that I was planning my escape from England with my son.

Looking back on the past few years of my life seems surreal almost like a dream and everyday I wonder how all this became possible to someone who did absolutely nothing to deserve it. I can’t say I have been the ‘perfect mother’  unless your Mary Poppins in the real world it just isn’t possible but I can say iv been a damn good mother where others may have failed. Of course anybody who has been at the end of a social workers wrath will know the social work team try their hardest to make out you are not a good mother.

As a survivor of domestic violence , anybody who is a  survivor have been through a journey of self discovery, learning the art of protection and being successful through a time that was very traumatic and one that could possibly have ended life completely. Not only am i a survivor of DV as are many other women , I am also a survivor of the family court system in the UK. That is my biggest achievement, if you think DV takes it out of you emotionally and financially to be abused by the state, your country of birth and by the very people your taxes pay to protect you is a double whammy.

So if you are slightly confused to exactly how I became a fugitive and how I had to steal my son back from the state to save him and indeed my unborn child from forced adoption I invite you to look closely at the scanned paperwork shown.  Now if you have the attitude that a mother who will not separate from her abusive partner and that her children might be better off in care and possibly given a brand new set of parents, you would be thinking along the lines of a social worker. So if I told you that I had been separated from my ex for 7 months and there had been no domestic violence for longer, moved 300 miles away from where he lived would you be surprised and a tad confused by the state kidnapping of my then 4-year-old son Lucas Wileman? well the answer to that is one of conspiracy to kidnap a child comes to mind involving Devon and Market Harborough social services.

Over the years I have stepped outside the box and tried to piece together how I came about having been accused of ‘failure to protect’ when I reported domestic violence and how the evidence was collected and stacked up in a family court to be used against me. Until you start to look and research into the child protection system itself it is only then you get an insight into how social services operate and why the current social policies and practices are doing more harm than good. The Government has a lot to answer for along with the house of lords for passing pathetic laws and constantly adding to the children’s act 1989 to include things like ‘emotional harm’ and carrying on with adopting children out once on full care orders against the birth parents wishes and with no more contact possibly for the rest if their lives.All paid for by YOU the tax payer, over the course of blogs i will show you exactly how the government ‘launders’ tax payers money to line their own pockets and that of private run agencies and their  ’carers’ !.

I do not tend to spread the word on who I help or what I do for others, only those who I help will know how committed I am to my cause and pursuit of change in family law .  I have come across all types of people from all walks of life and believe you should give everyone a chance…My advice is,  this is a very negative and depressing business when dealing with people who have had their children taken. In general negative people breed negativity and sometimes it is best to steer well clear if you feel something is not quite right, being a parent you become better on judging peoples character. We all go through life feeling negative at some point but there are some with whom it becomes an illness or obession they cannot turn away from. I did not get this far with negative people who are in desperate need of a personality transplant, I left them behind in the UK!. I am however here through extremely kind,generous positive people all over the world who no matter how big or small made an impact on my life, kept me going and kept me safe and strong. A special thankyou to those people whom I seek permission to name in due course, however i will not be seeking permission to name and shame those who brought corruption and conspiracy into my life.

A short message to LyndaMac who has been a massive emotional support a truly caring lady who at times does not mince her words but brings home the reality of the situation which should benefit you. This lady has suffered like myself and many others a terrible injustice and barbaric treatment by the social services , doctors and the courts in her town of Luton and separated from her son who turned out to have cancer. You will not believe how many parents have had their children taken because they took them to the doctors or hospital one too many times…accused of  fabricating illness (by ‘professionals or even ex partners).. yes the world has gone mad!

Stay positive you either sink or swim!!